Invisible Illness Series: What People Say To Us

Hi everyone!
I have been thinking about doing a series on chronic pain for quite some time now. I will be playing around with titles throughout this series until I finding one that truly speaks to me. But the reason why I am creating this series is for people who suffer from chronic pain like me and then also people who do not suffer from chronic pain.

Throughout my years of suffering with chronic pain, I have had people say some horrible things to me when they honestly have no idea what they are talking about. I felt that this series can be spread around the community of people with chronic illness and we can discuss our stories. We can be our own support system. Do not get me wrong, my family and friends have been great support but I also have lost a lot of "friends" due to this disease. I have lost respect from faculty members at my school because of this disease. This disease does not define who I am but this disease does put a label for others to judge me on.

So the first post in this series is: What People Say to Us. There are so many annoying and aggravating things people say to us and honestly sometimes you want to laugh in their face, cry, scream, or punch them....would not recommend the last one. But I want people to understand that people who have chronic pain did not choose to suffer this way. I did not choose to be bed ridden and be 80% disabled. I did not choose to have people look at me and think I am crazy. So here is to them because without them, I would not be writing this blog post for all of you.

There are so many that I can quote word for word so here are some of my personal favorites.

Doctor: "You are just faking your pain. It is all in your head"

Doctor: " Your anxiety and depression are causing this....suck it up"

Doctor: "There is nothing wrong with you"
Well doctor, if there was nothing wrong with me, why would I be in the emergency room every week. Please explain that to me.

Administrator: "You really need to suck it up and go to class"
Do you think I like being in pain rather than hanging out with friends. Yeah that makes sense.

Friend: " I think you are overreacting"

Nurse" I can't physically see whats wrong, you can go back to class"

Nurse: " Endometriosis has a cure and you will be fine"

Girl: " I understand your chronic pain is flaring up but your absences are racking up"

Administrator: " you need to be in school whether you are in pain or not"

Doctor: " What is Endometriosis? ....oh that sucks"

These are some of the few sayings that I have had said to me over the years. And I am pretty sure that a majority of you all who are reading this who has chronic pain has heard similar sayings.

Let me just state a few facts:
1) If you are not a doctor who specifically knows what Endometriosis, do not tell me I am crazy and it is all in my head.
2) If you see that I am in pain, do not say you cannot physically see it. If I can't walk, that is because I am in severe pain, not because I like walking that way.
3) Do not tell me that you know my chronic pain is flaring up because you know nothing. You do not know the agony and stress having chronic pain causes.
4) As a friend, be supportive and do not push them to their limits.

I want people to be aware that chronic pain exists and it is real. Whether you have chronic back pain or chronic migraines or have Endometriosis like me. One thing that we all have in common is that we are sick and we do not know when the pain will go away. We try to go day to day to live a normal life and unfortunately sometimes that just does not happen. It is so hard to get out of bed sometimes because you are in so much pain and your doctor gives you pain medicine that does absolutely nothing.

What you see on the outside, is not the whole story to that person. This is why we learn in kindergarten to never judge a book by its cover. Just because we "look" fine, does not mean we truly are. If you are reading this and you do not have chronic pain, please be more open minded. It is so hard having this "invisible illness" that no one sees or believes but we know it's there but apparently that is not enough.

I hope this helps some of you. Please leave your stories at the bottom or DM on Instagram at sophia_milagros. I would be more than happy to talk with anyone who needs support or who just needs someone to listen to as well.

I hope you have a wonderful day/night wherever you are!
Carpe Diem,
Sophia